The stars whirl around you in a crazy carnival blur as you pull your Phase Cruiser VII out of a barrel roll. Ahead the alien ship comes out of its turn, ion trails slick in the dark like glass, and you shut your eyes against the glare of the cannons as he's torn to pieces by your guns, the neon glow of plasma flowing out from the wreckage like blood. "Die, alien scum!"
Suddenly, your ship begins to vibrate, a low thundering rumble which resonates through the sharp angularity of the cockpit. A piece of debris must've been caught in the intake! You look down at flashing panels to see the digital readouts spiraling upward, a confusion of green LCD, and suddenly you realize -- the engines are out of control!
With a blast and a flash of blue light, your TransWarp IV engines explode, sending you screaming through space to who knows where! Your Phase Cruiser VII leaves sector IX with incredible speed -- you're going as fast as the Viper XVIICCLSIXIII!
Your vision goes blurry and you begin to black out. "Noooooooooo..." you groan. But there's nothing you can do...
As you come to, you look around the cramped cockpit, vision still blurry and overbright from the speed. You glance at the instruments and hit the mic switch. "Base command, this is Jester, base command... come in, base command." But nothing comes over the sub-sub-sub-sub-ultra-sub-space frequencies except for an occasional dull thump. They're getting louder, and louder, and louder...
...and then your head snaps up. Outside are thousands of tiny rocks, growing bigger by the second! Oh no! You've somehow arrived in the Big, Immense, Terrifying and Chaotic Hectare, a region of space riddled with dangerous asteroids! No one ever goes here, except for the occasional person who comes back on purpose, again and again, even if it's monotonous, just to say that they've done it. What will you ever do! No one's ever gotten out of the Big, Immense, Terrifying and Chaotic Hectare when they don't even have a radio or a specially armored ship!
You begin to sink into the deep, dark depths of depression. There's only one solution.
You look down at the main display and begin to punch the keys, faster and faster, your hands a fabulous blur of desperate movement. You're almost there... on down the directory structure, further and further. Finally!
Your ship sits quietly in the Big, Immense, Terrifying and Chaotic Hectare, which could be described as a vortex, a storm of sorts, and the only sound in the cockpit is the sound of you playing P'tong.
That's right. P'tong. Everyone loves to play P'tong. So why don't ya?
